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Tue Aug 4th, 2020 @ 7:44pm

Fordyce Kirschler

Name Fordyce Arnheim Kirschler PhD

Position Chief Operations Officer

Character Information

Gender Male
Species Human
Age 53
Place of Birth 7274 Herschelii IV (Port Boppa)

Physical Appearance

Height 6'0" (182 cm)
Weight 162 lbs (73 kg)
Hair Color Brown
Eye Color Gray
Physical Description Ford always looks a little dirty, a little rough around the edges, and on the verge of laughter. He has a very relaxed vernacular influenced by his frontier upbringing.

Ship Identification

Duty Shift Alpha


Spouse None.
Children None.
Other Family P.E.A.R.L. (Personal Engineered Autonomous Robotic Laborer), Dr. Kirschler's companion and robotic assistant.

Personality & Traits

General Overview "As soon as I saw you, I knew a grand adventure was about to happen."
- Winnie the Pooh

   Never one to dwell on the past (usually because it contains something he's actively running from), Dr. Ford Kirschler lives for the excitement of the moment. He's generous with his time and abundant energy and soaks up the attention that comes from sharing it with others. He uses his unique, earthy wit and natural charm to maintain a large circle of friends that rotates depending on who he's swindled most recently. He's a hedonist and a sybarite with an impeccable sense of style and appreciation for the finer things in life, even when they're out of his reach.

Strengths & Weaknesses "The right thing is always the best thing you can do. The second best is the wrong thing. And the absolute worst thing you can do is nothing."
- "Social Action in a Changing World" by Vedek Imik Daw

   Dr. Kirschler believes the world should be seen and felt rather than dwelled upon. He has showmanship and a sense of style that puts his creativity into words and actions; everyday is a performance. He has excellent people skills and a brave sense of humor even in the darkest of times. He has an adventurous spirit and is always looking for an opportunity to volunteer for something new, fun, and exciting.

   Unfortunately, he is easily bored. Without excitement, he's left to make his own, which leads to risky behavior, self-indulgence, and pleasure overcoming any long-term thinking (or consequences). Love of luxury plus poor planning often has him living beyond his means, leaving him lurching from one payout to the next. He's averse to the conflict that naturally arises from this lifestyle and is more likely to cut and run than double-down with any sense of seriousness. He says and does whatever is needed to quickly extract himself from contentious situations and then moves on to something more engaging. Finally, he avoids making promises and commitments; he often jumps from romantic partner to romantic partner and sabotages any real relationships that develop in his life.

Ambitions "There's no profit in honor."
- Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #198

   Profit and personal comfort.

Hobbies & Interests "There is only one tragedy in life: not getting what you want."
- Promotional Campaign #11378, Risa Tourism Board

   Dr. Kirschler has a bad habit of picking up hobbies, obsessively engaging in them for a few months to a year, and then dropping them. In recent memory, he's gone through Klingon opera, the creative vandalism of the youth gangs of Lithios Prime, entomology, Breen encryption, and recreating historical Terran methods of glassblowing. His current hobby is incorporating nanotechnology into synthetic leatherwear.

Sexual Orientation Undisclosed
Language(s) Spoken Federation Standard, Ferengi, Klingon


Personal History    "When I was here last I tore my gown on a chair, and he asked me my name and address - inside of a week I got a package from Croirier's with a new evening gown in it."
   "Did you keep it?" asked Jordan.
   "Sure I did. I was going to wear it tonight, but it was too big in the bust and had to be altered. It was gas blue with lavender beads. Two hundred and sixty-five dollars."
   "There's something funny about a fellow that'll do a thing like that," said the other girl eagerly. "He doesn't want any trouble with
   "Who doesn't?" I inquired.
   "Gatsby. Somebody told me-"
   The two girls and Jordan leaned together confidentially.
   "Somebody told me they thought he killed a man once."
   A thrill passed over all of us. The three Mr. Mumbles bent forward and listened eagerly.
   "I don't think it's so much
that," argued Lucille skeptically. "It's more that he was a German spy during the war."
   One of the men nodded in confirmation.
   "I heard that from a man who knew all about him, grew up with him in Germany," he assured us positively.
   "Oh no," said the first girl, "it couldn't be that, because he was in the American army during the war." As our credulity switched back to her she leaned forward with enthusiasm. "You look at him sometime when he thinks nobody's looking at him. I'll bet he killed a man."
   She narrowed her eyes and shivered. Lucille shivered. We all turned and looked around for Gatsby. It was testimony to the romantic speculation he inspired that there were whispers about him from those who had found little that it was necessary to whisper about in this world.

- "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald

   Fordyce "Ford" Kirschler was born in a squatter settlement on an L-class world known to locals as Port Boppa and 7274 Herschelii IV according to the Daystrom Institute's planetary classification system. It existed outside Federation jurisdiction, allowing for a sort of laissez-faire approach to governance that his mother and father shared when it came to parenting. In short, Ford's formative years were spent more with friends than family. His parents were supportive to the extent that he needed them to be but otherwise preferred to let him grow into himself according to his own whims.

   Life on an L-class planet was difficult and impoverished, which definitely did not mesh with his "whims." At the age of 18, he applied to Starfleet Academy under a non-resident program with the assumption that becoming a Starfleet officer was a golden ticket to riches. He was fairly well-educated, smart, and, above all, a politically attractive candidate given Starfleet's interests in the lithium reserves on 7274 Herschelii IV. He barely scraped through the Academy and earned a reputation within the student body for disobedience, disorderly conduct, substance abuse, and partying. He was dead last on the list of candidates chosen for Starfleet's engineering & operations program.

   The seven years spent in advanced training for computer systems and artificial intelligence were more successful than his basic Academy career. The subjects were narrower and in fields that he enjoyed; there was a practical component to the study program; and he discovered a surprisingly enduring love and aptitude for programming, robotics, and logistics (surprising since nothing held his interest for long). He also discovered a love and aptitude for the production of synthetic "pharmaceuticals," which had him brought up on disciplinary charges. His career was saved only by the intervention of a free-spirited Denobulan instructor who admired Kirschler's "pluck."

   His benefactor, Dr. Phloben, also arranged for his postdoctoral research training: a programming fellowship with a Starfleet colonization project. He spent most of his time with a team working on asteroid mining designed to supply colony worlds with raw materials - programming autonomous mining units and designing supply chains. The constantly changing environment and evolving challenges suited Dr. Kirschler and laid the basis for his "real" career as an independent consultant later in life.

   Having made a single friend and many enemies within the Starfleet community, he was given only one option at the conclusion of his fellowship: operations officer aboard a scientific vessel conducting routine planetary surveys for three years in the Beta Quadrant. One year and seven months into the mission, he was allowed to resign his commission in a move deemed "mutually beneficial" by Starfleet Command. The fact that he managed to convince them to discharge him honorably (given his record) has always been a point of pride.

   Over the next two decades, he drifted from job to job, trouble to trouble. At various points, he worked as a consultant for a shell corporation of the Orion Syndicate, the autocratic government of Lithios Prime, the Shelliak Corporate Legal Counsel for A.I. Ethics, and several other minor corporate outfits. Most often, his work involved developing artificial intelligence programs, designing robotic systems, or maximizing the efficiency of supply chains and the movement of goods. (As a side "business," he often leveraged his knowledge of logistics and Federation customs to move restricted goods and other contraband.)

   The past three years have been spent in direct service to the Bank of Bolias. They became aware of Dr. Kirschler after his failure to make payments on a very generous loan provided by a soon-to-be jilted lover working as a loan officer for the bank on Manzanar II. (The loan was used to purchase a Raka-class corvette named the SS Couronne and a robotic assistant, P.E.A.R.L. [Personal Engineered Autonomous Robotic Laborer], both of which were used in making his escape from said lover/loan officer.)

   At the risk of legal intervention, Dr. Kirschler agreed to sign on as a consultant for special projects of interest to the Bank, often at rates very favorable to the premier financial institution. He is expected to meet his debt obligations within the next eight to twelve years.