Insomnia

Posted on Sun May 1st, 2022 @ 7:13pm by Renee Weaver MD & Ka'see 'Cassie' Anderson (*)

Mission: Mission 15: Adrift
Location: Sickbay
Timeline: MD01 16:00
1127 words - 2.3 OF Standard Post Measure

Cassie hated drugs but she hated the insomnia that had been a constant theme in her life for weeks now. She was not exactly thriving and she was self aware enough to know that she could not go on like she was. She needed sleep and support but only one of them could be helped in sickbay where she stood waiting for someone to come out. Sleep was needed even by Vulcans and humans and she was both.

The other issue would take time and talking about it but there was no one onboard that she wanted to talk to about it. Johnathan’s death whilst sad for her was not quite as heartbreaking as the realisation that if the holodeck had not malfunctioned he would have carried on attempting to guilt her into resuming the sexual side of their relationship despite none of the issues having been resolved. The sea storm had done her a favour despite how deadly it had been. “Hello?” She called when the sickbays alert system had not brought anyone out.

Renee was working the late shift and things were quiet. Taking advantage of that, she went back to getting caught up on reading the crew medical files, though she suspected not everything that should be in them, would be.

Leaning back in the chair in her office, she stretched and stifled a yawn. Renee must have been focused elsewhere, because she was startled when a voice called out from the waiting area.

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear you come in," said Renee, joining the newcomer. "You're Ka'see, right? How can I help you?"

“Cassie is fine. No one calls me that. Can’t quite get it right.” The woman quickly corrected ignoring the wince that wanted to slip out. It was not this woman’s fault at all, she did not know her nickname. Maybe she should just correct it on the system once and for all. The Vulcan sounding name just sounded strange after her name had been standardised for so long. “Um… we’ll I am struggling to sleep.” She admitted looking at the floor as she tried to not go into much more details.

"I see," said Renee. The woman was half Vulcan, so if she was unable to sleep, it was something difficult, as even part Vulcans almost always worked through things themselves. Renee also picked up on some body language, indicating there was certainly more than just a sleepless night. "Let me do a quick scan." She grabbed a medical tricorder from a nearby table.

Cassie nodded and sat slowly on the biobed and looked around. There were subtle differences in the sickbay since the new team had taken over but it looked like it was approving again. "Thank you." Cassie looked down at the floor and her comfortable boots. How did she get into this mess? She could not help but wonder to herself.

"Have there been any changes in your routine lately?" said Renee after reading the scan results. "This indicates your brain is under the affects of severe fatigue. Are you having difficulty concentrating? Have you distanced yourself from others?"

"My routine is the same but I did lose my estranged husband three months ago." She admitted knowing it might not be known to the new crew members which were nice in a way as they did not judge her. "I am so tired." She admitted. She could not say she was struggling with concentrating but from the outside looking in people might say differently.

"Oh," said Renee. "I'm sorry. I didn't know." She was genuinely heartfelt, having seen death or the loss of loved ones in her time serving on ships.

Cassie's ex passed three months ago and she was still feeling its effects. Something needed to be done before things got worse. The fact she was there seeking help, was an excellent first step.

"For right now, I can prescribe a sleep aid, but in the long term, you need to talk with someone," said Renee. "You need a person that can help you heal."

"I am not wanting to talk to someone right now. It would make little sense to have that discussion when I have not come to terms with it all. It is a lot more complicated than him just dying. The events around it are complicated." Cassie said slowly. It would be impossible for someone to understand as she thought she was foolish for even attempting to take Johnathan back for the third time.

Renee thought about what to say, choosing the direct approach, as she usually did.

"Like I said, I can give you something to help you sleep, but that's a temporary solution. You need to address the root cause. Talking with someone is one of the best ways to come to terms with it."

“It is awkward.” Cassie sighed a little and rubbed her eyes. “It’s… yeah awkward is the only word standard or Vulcan to sum it all up.” Cassie said recognising the other woman as someone who might understand her just a little.

Like Cassie, Renee was half Vulcan, though she had kept that to herself since signing on board the Rose. She rarely talked about it, because after her parents died, no one on the planet Vulcan stepped up to care for a little girl that was half Human. She didn't have any prejudices against them, it just hurt that she wasn't wanted. She didn't know Cassie's story, but maybe they had a connection.

"I'm not formally trained or certified as a counselor, but I had classes in college," said Renee. "We can talk or you can share with someone here you trust. The important thing is your mental and emotional health."

“I will when I am ready I promise. It might be you or it might be someone else but I will when I have found a way to move forward in peace.” Cassie assured. “Sleeping for a little bit would help me balance and emotionally regulate. It will also help the ship because I won’t be using all the processor power watching films at all hours.” She attempted to make a joke to keep it light.

"You know, if you're not doing it here already, it would be fun to have movie night a few times a month," said Renee while she prepared a hypo.

"This will help you sleep tonight." Renee pressed the med device against Cassie's arm. "I'll look through your medical file before prescribing something."

Renee studied Cassie's face for a few seconds. "Don't wait too long, okay?"

“I will.” She assured quickly already looking forward to the full nights sleep she was going to get.

How wrong was she she going to be.