Never Sinking Into The Void Again Part 2

Posted on Thu Sep 5th, 2019 @ 5:01pm by Commander Liam Snow & Commander Alexis Agrax (*)

Mission: Cosmos
Location: Deck 3 - Senior Officer Quarters
Timeline: 2396
2782 words - 5.6 OF Standard Post Measure

Alexis sighed as she settled into her new quarters. She hated the bareness of the room. She missed her old quarters and the warmth of it. She wondered if her reluctance to unpack was the hope that it was temporary. She sat down defeated for a moment on the couch, what she wouldn't do for her old bunk in the Academy even with the small shared space, it had never felt as lonely as the Cosmos felt right then. She turned as the door chimed. "Come in!" She called knowing already it was Liam.

As the doors opened they revealed Liam. He was wearing a plain white shirt, denim jeans and usual Texan style boots. In one hand he held a bottle of Betazoid nectar and the other a bottle of bourbon. "I hope I don't disappoint?" he asked walking through. He was surprised by the lack of home feeling that the quarters felt like, Alexis was usually quite good at setting up a home but if anyone was to look at his it was really the same. Then again he never did have much to decorate with.

"Never have before." She commented on looking him over before she realised that she was still in her Starfleet issue training clothes. She had gathered the whole security department, all watches to the holodeck for a training exercise. It was nice to get back to things like that from being Executive Officer but it had left her drained and thoughtful. "Sorry I am still dressed from work."

He gave a half bow as he continued into the room. She apologised for being in her training gear but he didn't care, she was still beautiful even if she was a little sweaty. "Don't worry, I'm always dressed for work. You just never know when I'm working." he said with a smile.

"Make yourself at home and I'll quickly sonic shower and change." She said softly not thinking on how awkward her words could be at all when the quarters were bare and it was like it was seven years before.

'Home? That thing we used to have?" he thought as he looked around the room. True enough it was pretty barren looking with little personalisation done to make it feel more homey. He couldn't really judge though if you look at his it looked pretty similar. He did have pictures up but that was more to try and encourage memories to surface as a result of his amnesia years previous.

In his belongings he had found a silver horseshoe, on it was engraved 'My love for all eternity, may this shoe bring us luck for generations to come'. He placed it on the table in the centre of the sofas next to the alcohol he had brought and lost himself in looking out the window.

Alexis didn't miss his thoughts at all and leant out curling around his mind for a moment. "You look pensive." A voice said from the doorway eventually. The woman stood there wrapped in a towel watching him intently. She had wanted to stay there watching him for a few more moments but she couldn't help but speak up.

Liam didn't look up as his eyes remained on the vastness, the emptiness of space that lay before him. He kind of felt a little bit like that himself, empty. Devoid of happiness. He did get a sense of satisfaction from his job, something he'd regained.

"Just thinking." He replied. "Was looking through an old box of things before I came over, pictures, some trinkets." His eyes moved across the horseshoe once more.

"I packed them all up for you hoping it would help wherever Starfleet sent you." She smiled looking at the horseshoe. It had been a whim on a random colony she had been sent to on an away mission which had ended in them being allowed to shop. "I will put more clothes on in that case." She told him turning away to get clothes on.

Liam let out a little chuckle followed by a wry smile. It had helped, some photographs had sparked memories but without a guide he wasn't sure how to navigate them. Almost like a child being told amazing stories without the comprehension of how to understand them. Liam rose to his feet as Alexis turned. He caressed her arm gently, as if testing the waters and he felt the goosebumps on it, the hairs begin to rise from his touch. "I think the towel is a nice look for you." he said as his other hand stroked down her other arm.

"I am sure you do. Not exactly a look you don't know." She reminded him softly thinking back to the last time they had been together on Utopia Planitia two years ago. "I used to have a habit of looking like this thanks to the environment control forever making it too hot."

"Well you deserve to know that I may have had something to do with that... environmental controls are not too difficult to alter." Something he remembered all too well, the smile creeping on his face getting larger.

"I am definitely going to put more clothes on it that case." She told him turning away a grin on her face as she felt the happiness in his mind at the memory of that. It felt strange to pull away from him when once upon a time he would have followed and just carried on talking.

Liam stood hesitantly at the door, one foot moved inward but the other kept his position. He wanted to follow her in but felt something holding him back. Was it shame? Fear? Something that made him feel that she wouldn't welcome the man he was now. He wasn't much different, maybe he lost a bit of his 'spark', the light in his eyes not as bright as they once were. The light was returning but right now it seemed to be on a dimmer and slowly rose to shine again.

Alexis returned less than two minutes later, she wore a pair of leggings, a deep red strappy shirt and no shoes. She never wore shoes unless she needed to be on shift.

"Talk?" She suggested picking up the nectar taking a deep sip savouring the taste of it.

"You asking me to talk or suggesting we do it?" He asked knowing that something needed to be said. Alexis began to open her mouth but he spoke first, "I miss you but I know I've hurt you. Being gone all this time..."

"Some of my behaviours would hurt you too," Alexis said softly as she moved to sit on the couch still holding the bottle close. She had thought him dead sure but it didn't explain a lot of it. "I guess a lot of it was trying to fill the holes in my soul that was left." She admitted softly hoping he understood.

"There were times when my memory flashed an image, a woman with dark hair and eyes as beautiful as yours staring at me in the dark." Liam said, "I lost myself when I was taken, my memory seemingly damaged by weapons fire but it seemed like you didn't leave me. Not all of you anyway." he sighed. "We have both done things that either of us would not be proud of but our connection, your Betazoid bond with me, at least kept me somewhat moral."

"Well, I did imprint on your pretty damn hard," Alexis said as she sat down on the couch. She used to joke about how powerful the connection was between them but now it wasn't a laughing matter at all. She knew exactly what had happened to him, what had happened to the whole crew but he seemed to be the only one who had survived. It really showed his test of character.

"That you did, darlin'." he said with a soft smile. "That you did." It was still something that gave him a warm feeling inside. That was a bond that was hard to break. Even through the hardest time of his life it was there, keeping him alive, sane and gave him purpose. He knew he still loved her, but did she love him still as well?

The woman sighed softly and turned to where her glass was taking a sip. "I feel the connection to you trying to reassert its self. Trying to make my walls come down." The woman said looking at him honestly trying to work him out still.

"Would it be so bad if even one wall fell?" he asked half rhetorically putting his hand closer to her static one on the couch. "Maybe it's time we both rose from the void we've been stuck in."

The woman looked at the man and frowned as she felt the warmth of his hand so close to her. "I don't know." The woman admitted with a soft shake of her head.

Liam felt her hesitance, maybe she was right. Maybe their time had passed as he got the feeling there may have been someone else on the scene. If he wanted he could no doubt do some digging and find out if that was true but half of him didn't want to know. He pulled his hand back from hers and took a deep breath, then smiled. "I wont push anything, I know we're both different from our time apart. If we fall back into each others path again then so be it."

Alexis slowly leant out and hugged him to her, needing just a moment to have him close. She needed to feel that he was solid. They hadn't hugged or touched other than the fight that had ended in the man being brought back to Starfleet and her being sent on an undercover mission.

As he hugged him his arms outshot, hanging in mid-air with the surprise of her sudden movement into him. She was warm and smelled the same way that she always had done. Liam relaxed a little and closed his arms around her back and held her tightly in his arms. "Thank you... for bringing me back," Liam said. He actually realised he'd never said it before, something of a weight had lifted from his shoulders as he said it and a small smile formed across his face.

"I was bringing you back dead or alive Winter. You didn't deserve to be that man and I needed to know I had done everything." Alexis told him softly as she rested her chin on his shoulder. Her small body fitted against his so well that it hurt to just not relax more into him like she always used to. He used to be her safe harbour, she didn't need to be tough with him. Maybe she could speak words to him without having to see him.

It was like a jigsaw, that missing piece falling back into place. That had always been how he felt when they embraced as if she was always meant to be a part of him. The warmth that came from her body somewhat subdued by the manner of their relationship now. He could feel her breathing, against his body and it became rhythmic with his, and it reminded him of how they used to be.

Alexis said nodded just kept him close. It was torture almost but she needed to feel just how solid he was against her, needed to know that he was more alive than dead. "It will get better." She promised pulling back to look at him properly in the eyes.

"Got no other choice but too darlin'." he said with a smile, also staring into her beautiful eyes. "Looking at you now, it's better. As if the world melts away and we are the only two left."

"We are the only two here," Alexis said unable to look away. "Where did we go so wrong?" The woman wondered unable to stop herself. For two people who thought so highly of each other, why had they spent so many of their last moments together arguing?

"We didn't, my 'death' did," Liam stated. They, per say, didn't do anything wrong but react to what life at the time threw at them. Sadly, it was a crappy deal and both ended up worse for it. They were still married, by law, but that didn't make their relationship at this moment any easier. "It was always you and me. What happened stopped that and there ain't a day that goes by that I either wish that it hadn't happened, or that it took me wholly. Then one way or another the pain it causes now would be gone, or different."

Alexis didn't know what to say to that at all. She slowly leant forward and pressed her lips to her his forehead in a soft gesture. "I never wish for you to be taken wholly. They kept you alive for some reason or other." The woman pointed out, he had survived out of a ship of 1500.

He smiled weakly. Not a day went by since his memory returned that he didn't feel guilty that he was the sole survivor. Liam never thought he was anything special, never deserving of such being left alive but alas he was and he dealt with that every day. He never spoke of it to anyone, dealing with it himself seemed wiser and he didn't think people would understand. "Well, that makes one of us baby. If they kept me alive for a reason it must be punishment because that's what it is," he said rising to his feet and staring out the window.

Alexis watched him silently and sipped on her drink. He would come to sit back eventually, he needed to just stare into space and reflect for a little bit. When she finished the glass she moved to have another one but paused when the silence had gone on to long. Slowly she stood and moved in front of him pressing herself against the glass to get into the space. "How can I stop the pain?" She asked simply.

He smirked, the odd thought of a fully charged phaser coming to mind before he quickly pushed it aside. Looking deep into her eyes he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her forwards into him. He could smell the sweetness of the nectar on her breath but she only had her head in his chest as if unsure about what to do. With his finger he lifted her head up slowly he again looked into her eyes, then slowly moved in and gave her a soft loving kiss.

The woman froze for a long moment before her hand moved to his neck and she pressed closer. It was a familiar kiss, one born out of a loving relationship, not the hot and heavy flings that the Security Chief kept having in an attempt to find anything as close.

Totally in that moment, Liam was happy. It had been too long since the woman he'd known was in front of him as she was before. When you know the ins and outs of someone to be with them feels like you've came home. Peaceful. The kiss came to a slow close but their eyes remained closed as he placed his forehead on hers.

"Do you remember that night you grabbed my hand and tugged me out of the longue with this burning gaze on me... Scared me silly for a moment until you dragged me to this deserted corridor and kissed me senseless. You demanded to know why I was flirting with someone else when you were ready to let me go... I laughed... I actually laughed in your face and said you hadn't caught me yet." The woman said in a soft voice. “I’ve been caught for years.”

"I remember," he said laughing a little. Truth be told it was a little fuzzy but he did remember most of what she said. "I would have thought with me declared dead I would have thought you'd have been released from my shocking presence. Like I was your punishment," he said joking. Honestly, he had done digging since his arrival back into the fold of the fleet, he knew the men she had been with and currently still saw.

As the moment lingered, he thought maybe this was a perfect place to end the night. In comfort, happiness and contentment.

OFF::

Commander Alexis Agrax
Chief Of Security
USS Cosmos
(PNPC Gregnol)

Commander Liam Snow
Chief Intelligence Officer
USS Cosmos
(PNPC Carli)