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Confused and Despondent

Posted on Mon Oct 25th, 2021 @ 3:08pm by Nollel Livaam (*) & Executive Officer Jake Ford

Mission: Holoworld
Location: Observation Lounge
Timeline: MD -10 22:00
1234 words - 2.5 OF Standard Post Measure

Nollel stood in the observation lounge thinking about the meal that she had just left with Michael and Liha. Was she really okay and just suffering with the starts if Tellarite cold? Or was it something more? She should have said something to Liha, the Romulan was the logical choice as she did not fuss but she did not want to admit to herself that was something could be wrong. The cold had been going around the ship for weeks. She leant her head against the cool glass enjoying the sensation on her forehead.

"Everything all right there?" Jake asked, approaching with a used tray in his hand. He'd noticed her standing there a little while now, and for the full length of his meal she'd been staring into space on her own.

Nollel jumped nearly giving herself a neck strain at the voice scaring her. She glanced over at Jake noticing his used tray and expression. “Um… yeah. Just chilling.” She shrugged a bit. She was not really sure what she doing.

"Hungry? Want me to get you something?" he suggested, trying to keep it friendly but not too intrusive.

"No, I have just eaten with Michael and.... and..." She frowned. The name was on the tip of her tongue but she could not for a moment remember. "Liha... I have just left them in the mess." She should have suggested the lounge, it would have been a much better environment.

His brow furrowed mildly. "Maybe a drink then? The Captain finally listened to my advice and got someone to run a bar on board. Could be that you just need to unwind."

"I thought we had someone before? Joe?" She mused. "Wait he left a while back. Yeah been a little strange the last few months with no one running it all. Maybe... you must have things to do though Jake." She said. It was going to be okay, she was just tired and more than likely loaded with tellarite cold.

"Nonsense. I'm not due on my bridge shift for a couple of hours. There's definitely time for some light refreshment. Besides, we've not had all that much time to get to know each other properly, considering how much our work overlaps." He gave an almost paternal grin.

“What you have not gone on my reputation as the bride?” A lot of the crew had and they had changed since then but the bitterness still reminded in her mind over it all. She had never wanted to resort to blowing up a cargo bay but needs must when it effected the rest of your life. It really had led her on a rocky road to being back there as a member of crew and enjoying her life for the first time.

"What reputation?" he replied, feigning ignorance. Of course he'd heard; he was aware of what most people talked about. "I'd have heard if someone was getting married," he added, trying to draw a laugh.

The woman smiled sadly. It was nice of him to act like he did not know anything about her even if he was joking. “Probably should not say anything like that Michael will get the wrong idea.” She said quickly. “Poor man has so much to deal with already.”

"Well if he can't deal with a little talk here and there then shame on him," Jake retorted. "So, if it won't damage your reputation or mine, how about that drink?"

"I meant more me getting married." The woman explained blushing deeply but nodded. "Sure, Jake." Another drink could not do any harm than what her mood swings had already done. She led the way to the wardroom relieved when there was no one inside other than them.

"So, come on. Just us two. I won't even tell the Captain," he said. "What's the problem? You don't seem like yourself today."

"Long day." She shrugged nonchalantly. "You had the Tellerite flu last week did it start with feeling off?" She wondered trying to get the subject away from her everyone seemed to want to be involved when she was sure that she just wanted to be left alone to deal with whatever was going on.

"I escaped with my tonsils intact," he snorted. "Lucky me with my old man's constitution. Do you need to go see the doc?"

"No...not yet. It most likely can be controlled in my quarters with some sleep. I just feel off at the moment. Not the top of my game." She admitted with a bit of a shrug. Everyone had off days but hers seemed to be turning into a week... maybe closer to a month.

"Well we've all been there at some point or another," he acknowledged. "I'm sure we can cope without you for a couple of days if you need some downtime."

“I do not think any of us could cope without someone to pay them.” She teased him for a moment. “I do not need downtime seriously it is just a off week I guess with this cold. Though… if it was something more what is our route here?” She asked revealing something that was potentially playing on her mind.

"Something more?" he queried. "Like I said, if it's a medical issue you need to go see the doctor. If it's something else? I guess find yourself a willing listener. Like the new barkeep or something."

The woman nodded and grew silent thinking to herself. The new barkeeper seemed like a solid option and that late in the day it would be highly unusual for anyone else to be there. “Good advice.” She mused looking at the floor.

"We look after our own," Jake affirmed, patting her on the shoulder. "Honestly. Captain and I can handle whatever else needs looking after. And it sounds like Kendra's been angling to help out more."

The woman nodded and took a sip of her drink. “She has. How are you handling the change and the extra pairing of hands?” She wondered shifting the conversation from herself to him.

"It's a relief. She's better with people than I am, and probably a little more organised. I get to go back to being the bad cop," he chuckled. "Not that this particular occasion calls for it."

“You are the bad cop?” She grinned. “Gregnol seems more the bad cop to be fair.” The woman mused. The human was much less manageable.

"Maybe. But compared to Kendra? We can both get away with it." Jake watched her expression. All things considered, she seemed a little better just for having had a drink and a conversation. Maybe it was just a bit of a low mood or something. "You seem to be doing okay now. Feeling more with it?"

"I guess." The woman shrugged. She was not sure but she was happy enough to carry on with things by herself. Maybe she was just run down and needed someone not fussing for a moment to gather and recenter herself. "I am okay to be left alone. I am sure Eden or Gregnol will be looking for you Jake." She soothed.

"Good. Look after yourself, Nollel," he affirmed. "Check in with the doc later on, though, okay?"

Nollel nodded. She was going to but not right now. Now she wanted to drink and forget that something was wrong and scared she felt about it.


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