Rebuilding What We Had...

Posted on Wed Oct 20th, 2021 @ 6:59am by Ka'see 'Cassie' Anderson (*) & Johnathan Anderson Junior

Mission: Ishimura
Location: USS Ishimura, Officer's Mess
Timeline: 2343
1365 words - 2.7 OF Standard Post Measure

It was a few minutes past 2000 hours, and Johnathan was patiently waiting in the officer's mess for Cassie to show up. He hoped that she would be able to arrive soon, the longer he waited, the more nervous he would become.

Cassie had made sure she had been finished on time and had enough time to at least make herself presentable. She looked at herself in the mirror for one more time and flattened down her hair from it being up all day and made her way out of her quarters with her new roommate giving her the thumbs up. Cassie appreciated the young cadet being in the space she had not had to share until now and could see why they were sharing when they were both even-tempered. The young woman was medical and was determined to do her best in everything which was good for the shared space.

Cassie stepped into the mess and nodded at the man across the busy mess hall grabbing a glass of water and herbal tea. "Good evening."

Johnathan stood and smiled, moving to pull out her chair. "Wow! You look great!" He felt as full of joy as when they first started dating. Full of nerves too, afraid to screw anything up and end up losing her from his life forever. He knew she was married, though, before he was pulled away, they had started to live their life as is she wasn't. He hoped they could rekindle that passion for one another.

"How was your day?" He asked as he gently pushed her chair in and then moved to his own chair, directly across the small table from her, sitting down, smiling, as he waited to hear her answer.

The woman shrugged. It was a day like many others. She had run experiments on a genetic substance from a virus that was sweeping across Andoria which was why they were in orbit above the planet. “Same day, Same processes. You?”

Johnathan shrugged slightly. "Filed a few reports mostly." He smiled softly at her. "Thanks for meeting me tonight, Cass. I really appreciate it." He saw that the replimat, then back at Cassie. "What would you like to eat?"

"I am not sure. I will go in a moment once I have had a think. Go get something for yourself Nath," She assured him quickly. She had, had a big lunch so would only need something simple but she wanted a few moments to think through options.

"Okay," he replied with a soft smile. He then stood and moved over to the replimat. After choosing a disk, he slipped it into the order slot and a few seconds later, the alcove door slid open, revealing his selection of beef lasagna, a side caesar salad, a couple of warmed dinner rolls and a seltzer with lemon and lime.

He took the tray of food back to their table and sat it down on the table by his place. "So, did you decide?" He asked with a grin as he stood by his seat.

"Nope but eat I will go and look," Cassie said rising seeing she was not going to be left to make her choice. She went to the replimat and chose something that was suitable for the mood that she was in. It was a toastie and chicken soup, it was good for the soul and her mother always made it for her when she was emotionally vulnerable.

Johnathan suddenly realized that, though he didn't mean to pressure her. He silently chastised himself as he watched Cassie move to the replimat. He slowly sat down and waited for her to return. He had to be careful. It was only now starting to sink in just how much had changed since he was called away. He would give anything to get that lost time back. Cassie meant so much to him! He had ro keep his mouth shut, so he didn't say anything stupid. Learn to read the room, idiot! he cursed himself.

The woman returned putting her food from her tray down on the table before putting the tray by her feet to give them more space on the table. “Eat.” She instructed her twang to her normal precise Vulcan accent creeping through.

Feeling a jolt run through him, Johnathan didn't argue. He started digging into his lasagna and eating small fork fulls. After a few quiet, tense-feeling moments, he decided to speak again. "I know I already said it, but, I'm sorry, Cass. I wish the way I was yanked out of here and out of your life hadn't been necessary. I would give anything to get all that lost time back!" He paused, then added, "I thought about you constantly the whole time I was gone. While I know it was an important mission, and Command wanted their best people on it, I wish that I wasn't as good a pilot. Then they never would have taken me from the Ishimura, or your side."

“Well you are so you have to just accept it.” She mused with a shrug. “It’s not something that can be changed.” It was that simple. It was just something that had to be moved past, she had moved it to the back of her mind best she could like many other things that had gone on it the past year.

Johnathan paused briefly before replying. She was right, of course. She usually was. "Well, it still feels like what we had, before the mission, took a big hit because if it."

“Of course it was because when you left you did not like me overly much without mushroom spores inside of you. The effects of the mushrooms brought us together for a bit on the planets but it was not stable what we had.” She said simply.

Johnathan made a face. "That's not entirely true, Cass. I told you, in the corridor, the day you came back into my life, that I never stopped loving you. Did that trip to Vulcan crush me? Yes. But, i also told you that i wanted to find our way back." He continued to speak, keeping his voice low. "So, how so we find our way back, sweetheart?"

“Yes but lots have happened since that day… spore planet was a mess” she tried not to think about that let alone the events since then. “I am still married. Tevir… he is a good man. I have pretty much run away from my marriage here.” The woman for a moment looked human before her barriers came back up.

Suddenly, Johnathan worried that there was no going back to what they had. She was married, afterall. Even if she didn't seem to love the guy all that much. The fact still remained. So, swallowing his feelings, Johnathan put a brave face on and spoke. "Okay. You're right. You are married. And, regardless of what happened between us, the marriage was prearranged and is binding. The last thing I ever want is for you to be uncomfortable. So ..." he took a breath, hoping she didn't notice just how ragged it was. "So, perhaps it's better if I stepped away from us, gave you the space you need, out of respect for you...and your husband. I don't want to be the reason you are unhappy. If you are happy with him, then I'm happy for you." He stood, his knees shaking a little. "I will always be your friend, Ka'see. If you ever need anything, anything at all, I'll be there." He started to pick up his tray.

"If you'll excuse me, I...I need to go check on something before my shift starts in the morning. Good night." And with that, he turned and made his way to the reclimator. He could feel the saddness welling up inside, threatening to burst out, but, he had to keep control, at least until he was alone, and could left the broken pieces of his heart fall out onto the deck plating. After placing his trau i to the reclimater chute, he quickly made his way out of the mess and back to his cabin.