NAP TIME

Posted on Thu May 5th, 2022 @ 9:00pm by Leiddem Kea (*) & Delaney O'Callaghan

Mission: Mission 15: Adrift
Location: Cargo Bay
Timeline: MD 02 0400
4554 words - 9.1 OF Standard Post Measure

It was, Delaney felt inclined to congratulate herself, no mean feat to have remained upright for this long. Not because she was tired; a certain level of strain that came from the excessive influence of adrenaline, coupled with her less-than-adequate intake of caffeine, had certainly mimicked physical fatigue, but her brain had other ideas. It was more that very few people had been permitted to cover the overnight shift, mostly limited to the engineers and medical staff, and dodging role call by sequestering herself away in the temporary supply depot to quietly update her handwritten logs had been an inspired way to buy herself more time. The solitude of bed, that time spent in her own quarters without anyone else to bounce off, had always been a perpetual challenge and remained perhaps the hardest things, aside from the lack of holodecks, about being aboard the Mary Rose. Alone with her thoughts usually resulted in a frustrating amount of ideas, or concerns, or reflections that Delaney struggled to supress an urge to deal with right away. Right now, she knew, if she put her head down on a pillow, the only thing that would happen would be a mixture of fretting about their situation and thinking about Leiddem.

And so she moved, quietly without a desire to disturb, and added things to her hand-written lists whilst updating what she'd already marked down to account for supplies already allocated. Just stay useful. Stay useful, take the strain off others, and ignore the dull throb of her head. She could stay up for days if necessary. Probably.

Leiddem had spent hours pouring over the exits out of the space on the ship they now declared home for the next few days. It was not going to be hard to secure the areas it was just a change of routine and less space to keep everyone in so the only issues he had to think on was maintaining order and making sure no one left. “You need sleep.” A voice called from the doorway of the alcove they were using. Leiddem stood there leaning against it with his arms folded and looking exhausted and tired but relieved to have found her finally.

"Need is a strong word." There had been that split second where the unexpected voice had made her jump, but a glance to confirm who it was turned potential alarm into an admittedly-weary warmth. Leiddem, at least, understood her fractured relationship with sleep, or at least he ought to because a lot of their deeper conversations; the ones where she'd come to realise he was more than a jock, and softer than he seemed, had occurred when both of them had been awake for hours on end and still couldn't bring themselves to crash for the night. It wouldn't, probably, stop him fussing however. "I'm fine," she added, turning back to the shelf. "My current plan is to just stay awake until... Actually, that's my entire plan. Just stay awake." Squinting, she tapped her pen against several packages to count and then adjusted her tally.

“There is no need to stay awake.” The man said moving over to place his hands on her shoulder as she turned away to resume her work. It was a gentle pressure even as he squeezed her. “And you are not fine. We need you at your best. I need you at your best.” He was going to give her one chance to come with him before he kidnapped her away from the work she was using as an excuse.

The pressure on her shoulders was cheating; right away, even without trying, he found a sore spot. It was also kind of cheating to step into her personal space at all, come to think of it, since the instant distraction was enough to prompt Delaney to turn around and fix him with a look of mock indignation. "Are you insinuating that I am not currently at my best?" It was a patented attempt to stall, to just keep talking in the hope of creating enough distraction to eventually thwart whatever the original intention was. She did it often; it only worked sometimes.

“Yes, I very much implying and insinuating.” He said simply as he narrowed his eyes seeing the indignation all over her face. “Distractions won’t work because I will just pick you up and carry you off. Come on, you need sleep as much as me.” Maybe they could have that talk alone in the corner he had grabbed until he could sort something a little more private.

Delaney's expression shifted from the grump of annoying logic flung in her face to the intrigue of his threat. It was almost worth digging her heels in just to see if he'd make good with it, but despite her protestations, at least some parts of Delaney's brain were too fatigued to think through the ramifications of being flung over Leiddem's shoulder and marched through a room of the entire crew. She was far from shy but it seemed like maybe she'd like to understand the situation herself before she started fielding other people's nosiness.

She lingered, just long enough for familiar stubbornness to return his narrowed eyes, and then Laney visibly relented. "That means you're sleeping too, right?" Like heck she wouldn't take him down with her.

“Very much so. Might not be as good as that couch in the office but I need to sleep otherwise I am going to have to find a cold shower and lethal amounts of coffee.” He admitted letting go of her shoulders with a finally squeeze and offered her his hand to her. “Please?”

That was cheating. Not that she should have been surprised. It had taken the dire nature of their previous mission to really hammer it home, but Leiddem's protective nature was actually kind of endearing. Marginally less so when aimed directly at her but Delaney wasn't about to argue that making lists was more interesting than spending time with him, even if it did mean succumbing to his devious charm. His insistence earned him a deadpan anyway, but her sigh of exasperation lacked its usual impatience. "Fine." She watched him a moment longer before accepting his hand. He had that look on his face; the one he wore when he was about to enact a plan he'd been mulling over. "Just don't be surprised if you sleep and I stare at the ceiling."

“No ceiling to stare at.” He hinted as he led her through the crowd of sleeping crew and out of the main area. It was something he had been thinking on for an hour as he could not relax surrounded people so he led her to an alcove that had a tent set up that gave the impression of isolation and being almost alone.

It was...different. Was that the right word? Secluded maybe? Intimate? Sure, intimate. Unexpected. Delaney stared at it a moment, not so much shocked as...unprepared. Given the nature of her thoughts, it was hardly a surprise that the chaotic swirl wouldn't settle long enough to give her a clear idea of what she actually felt about the effort he'd taken, and the fact that he'd invited her into what was clearly a private attempt to decompress, but it didn't stop her from finding something to say. Very little did.

"This is cosy."

“Err… sorry.” Was what he offered as an almost apology for the mistake he felt he had suddenly made. He meant it nothing more than an attempt for them to have the talk and address the elephant in the room.

"Huh? Oh." There were her thoughts, at least the sensible ones, sprinting to catch up. One look at his crestfallen face reduced Delaney's expression to warm mush and she smiled her own apology, reaching out to squeeze his elbow. "It's fine, more than fine even. A little unexpected but I don't mind pleasant surprises." Her smile strengthened and, to add weight to her reassurances, Delaney ducked her head to enter the tent first.

As with most spaces of the like, it became instantly easier to just sit down on the edge of bedding, which seemed to contain copious amounts of fluffed-up blankets and looked nothing like what she'd expect from an ex-Marine in terms of sleeping preferences. Strongly suspecting it was for her benefit, Delaney regarded the puddle of comfort with a faint smile and, with much less complaint than she'd originally envisaged, eased her boots off to sit cross-legged and wrap herself in a shroud of fuzz. Only then did she really notice just how cold it had become. "Now all we need is popcorn and a good movie."

The man sat down awkwardly next to her and took off his own boots and hoodie that he had been wearing to keep warm and wrapped his own fleece blanket around himself. “I just thought you’d like someone out of the way to rest like me. And I remembered the camping equipment Dixoho had used when she went off on an adventure and it snowballed from there.” He shrugged still walking on egg shells.

It was, of course, the kind of atmosphere that Delaney thrived in, if you considered bold assertiveness and an inability to beat around the bush to be beneficial. That didn't stop the silence from elongating, their physical proximity finally something that might reliably stick long enough for a decent conversation. Ever since the turbolift, there had been moments, brief and fleeting, where Leiddem had reached out in ways that were not typical; more excuses to squeeze her shoulders, that kiss to the temple that had inexplicably left her dangerously close to clinging to him in full refusal to let go. And now he'd tracked her down and brought her here and Delaney just wasn't the kind of person to look at a situation like this and favour pessimism. He wanted to talk. She wanted to talk. One of them had to start.

Turning her head, Delaney studied the Betazoid's profile until he finally looked at her, blue eyes locking with his impossibly dark ones. From there, the silence warped to encase them both and it suddenly didn't matter that most of the crew were not that far away, several curious steps from imposing on the privacy Leiddem had attempted to create. Delaney smiled softly. "We should probably talk, right?" Raising her eyebrows just a little, she gently asked, "Do you want me to go first?"

Leiddem would have been happy to have just that little moment with nothing that needed to be said aloud as they just stared at each other. But so much needed to be said between them before the tension became unbearable. “Sure.” He conceded to her.

"I've been thinking a lot, about what you said. Before you kissed me." Here, the redhead's lips twitched a little. "It took me a while but I realised that you're right; I have been a bit heavy-handed with the teasing lately. I've tried to figure out why and I just keep coming back to the fact that nothing's felt the same since the Holoworld. I know it shook everyone up, and I get that things will take a while to settle, but that's not really it."

Leiddem opened his mouth to say something to stop her but the words fell sort in his chest and he let her carry on before he got a chance to spill out his thoughts. Someone needed to break the ice and it seemed it was going to be her with the force of a sledge hammer. .

Lowering her gaze to consider her hands, the blanket left to settle against her shoulders, Delaney frowned as she tried to piece together a decent summary of the pathway her thoughts took every time she tried to figure out what she wanted to tell him.

"I keep replaying that moment when we realised the entire ship was going to go up. You were right there, and then when I looked again, you weren't, and I know that you were just trying to get the doors closed to contain some of the immediate blast, and I know you've got a knack for dodging shrapnel, both metaphorical and literal, but I just...panicked. Curtis has probably tattled about Ford having to wrestle with me to stop me turning back. And then your brother-in-law looked at me like we were sharing some deep moment of revelation and told me I had to trust you. I think his words were 'get used to trusting him, slapping doesn't work.'"

This recollection, at least, evoked a huff of laughter before Delaney glanced back at him.

"It's been weird ever since, except not in the ways I expected. Everything went back to normal, but the people who didn't make it left these gaps that nobody really seems to want to talk about. Micheal died, Jonathen died, Cassie was hurt, Eden left, Eva's gone and took the doctor with her... You still being here started to matter a whole lot more, I just never really dealt with it properly. Until now."

Raw and vulnerable were not expressions Delaney O'Callaghan wore often. Ever since arriving on board, she had proven practically impervious to misery, and so stubbornly resistant to the concept of defeat that, even when the chips were right down, she could almost always be counted on to push forward. She looked smaller when she was frightened, the delicate bone structure of her features betraying a fragility that barely seemed possible.

"You scared me. A lot. I know I call you a doofus but you're my doofus and I keep expecting to have to scrape you off the floor. I hate that feeling. I hate knowing that if I ever need to find you, I just have to look where a security alert is going off. And the really stupid part, the part that absolutely stinks, is that I wouldn't like you half as much if you weren't the kind of guy to throw yourself in the path of oncoming traffic. So I guess I'm screwed."

“Oh, you are totally screwed and I will forever get you to do that impression of Reuben at dinners, holidays and any time I can because it was perfect.” He said trying to lighten the tension that was in every nerve of his body suddenly. He knew it; she liked him and she knew he liked her but he had barely said anything. “Lan… I am that type of person. I will run into danger if it gives other people chances to survive or live that bit longer but and it is a very big but I do it only after doing a million calculations in my head predicting my course of action and success range.” He revealed and moved closer, leaning his head against her.

“You frustrate me to no end but that day on the holoship, I went back to give you a better chance. I know you are not China or something fragile but I would do anything in my power to try and keep you just that bit safer. You have brought out something in me that barely anyone gets to see and I might act like a jock but I do see you.” He was at loss how to explain himself more than that.

He didn't need to. A lot of people put huge emphasis on flowery words and explanations but Delaney found no use for either if the complimentary actions weren't present. Thousands of tiny snippets, the puzzle pieces that slotted together to improve her impression of him, and they were all underpinned by what she'd been able to observe and experience for herself. Words were inelegant sometime so she cut him some slack, leaned her forehead against his, and reached for his hand so that she could fold her fingers through his.

"Acting like a jock once in a while and actually being one aren't the same thing," she assured him quietly. "I don't want to you change, Lei'. You make the same kind of choices I would so I can hardly fault you for it. Besides." Delaney smiled as her eyes drifted closed. "Barging into danger on behalf of others is a huge part of what makes you you, and I like that person. It just took me a while to realise how much."

She shifted just a little so that the tip of her nose poked against his, the faintest of eskimo kisses, and then exhaled slowly as the effort of phrasing the next words forced a carefulness that Delaney wasn't always the best at. "You asked me 'since when have we been a we', and at the time, I realised it bothered me that the only answer to that was never. But I'd like us to be. If that ever became an option."

It was an admission she couldn't retract, an honesty that Delaney wasn't sure she had fully come to terms with, but despite the thudding of her heart, present mostly as a clamour of racing pulse against her throat, it was still something she was willing to trust him with. So far, he'd done all the work getting them to this point. The least she could do was reassure him that she wanted to be there.

He had been teasing her at the time about being a ‘we’ but since then it had been bothering him too that it was a never. “Good as I do not think I could change. I am a simple man at heart.” He grinned as he pressed his nose against hers again before leaning closer kissing her properly.

It was less of a surprise this time, and Delaney wasn't preoccupied with concerns that her behaviour had caused what felt like predictable ripples. The frustration of the last week melted somewhat, leaving behind a puddle of warmth that made it exceptionally natural to press her palm to his and return the kiss. Delaney was no stranger to the dating game, though she'd taken a sabbatical for her own sanity for the past year or so. It was hardly shocking to note that her impulsiveness had made for a very lively love life; less promiscuous than her detractors wanted to think but nevertheless open and honest and inclined, as with most things, to just throw caution to the wind. This was different. Leiddem was a friend. He'd earned that title first, and it mattered that it was him. Laney was used to the flutter of physical attraction but the emotional accompaniment was new, at least for such a tentative first exploration.

He was relieved that she did not pull away and relaxed into it. He had hardly been celibate in his marine years nor in the last few years but the connection to the woman was deeper than any of it. Leiddem pulled back slowly and just smiled breathless at her. “Much nicer than the kiss in the turbo lift.” He finally said, breaking the silence.

"I'm getting performance reviews now?" Her eyes danced at him, the effervescence of Delaney's personality making it practically impossible for her to resist the playful jab. Her tone was hushed though, and the intimacy it maintained took the boldness from her sass and rendered it more tender than mischievous. Slowly, her smile broadened and, as it occurred to her that several barriers had been lowered, and that impulses she'd navigated no longer needed the control she hadn't fully realised she'd been exerting, she unwound her fingers from his to instead brush tiny pieces of lint from the front of his shirt with her thumb. It was an excuse. So sue her. "I'm actually nervous," she eventually confessed, comfortable enough with her honesty to laugh at herself. "I think you broke me."

The man laughed softly and pulled back and lied back on the pile of bedding he had created to get some sleep that was not on the cold deck. “Have you ever known me to do paper work?” He asked, back shaking his head. “I am nervous too so I am sorry if I’ve broken you but there is no pressure. I do not want this to make us nervous and doubt ourselves.” He quickly countered.

Turning to consider him, Delaney took a moment to study what this arrangement would actually look like in process and had a hard time controlling the smile that wanted to split her face in half. As with most of the times she spoke directly from a source of discomfort, Delaney had felt better just for admitting it, certainly enough that switching her position to lay down facing him was a boldness that didn't cause excessive anxiety. There was nothing wrong with nerves. Aside from having Leiddem's desire not to trample over what already existed, Delaney thrived on adrenaline and so it hadn't been a concern or complaint so much as just...different. In a nice way. The emotional anticipation was electric.

Which, of course, lead her back to a familiar issue. "You know I'm definitely not going to sleep now," she murmured, dropping her volume in keeping with the fact that her face was now an inch from his.

He raised an eyebrow at the fact she was so close despite just admitting her anxiety over the whole situation. He turned on his side to echo what she was doing. “So how can I help?” He wondered leaning over to trace a finger over her arm.

It was, Delaney knew, an entirely innocent and well-intentioned question. She knew this because his eyes held an earnestness that they just couldn't manage when he was being a rascal. But in the context of their current situation; her eyes widened, intentionally, into a reasonably familiar I can't believe you just said that expression that promptly descended into her best efforts not to dissolve into fits of laughter. It evaporated any residual tension, at least, as Delaney waggled her eyebrows and then, unable to keep it up, pressed her forehead to his chin whilst she shook in quiet mirth.

"Cuddling is nice," she said after the moment had subsided and she realised that the appeal of his body warmth did offer a source of solace, even if it wasn't the suggestiveness that had amused her. That was a whole different kettle of fish and, given their personalities, it probably wasn't the time to test just how daring they were this close to a potential audience.

The man’s eyes became wide as he tried to back track but it was too late and what he had said was out there in the open now. “Do not laugh. I am not even thinking with that part of my anatomy.” Leiddem whispered as she came close and he lifted the blanket he had so they could share.

Imperatives not to laugh weren't likely to work on Delaney, but she managed to curb the impulse to just a grin, which softened considerably the moment the impetus to move was back in her court. It had been a reasonable amount of time since she'd shared sleeping space with another person, but the sensation of being swaddled by warmth from all sides was an instant reminder of how much she enjoyed it. An arm tucked at an angle was forced to rest against his chest, squashed gently between the two of them since Leiddem was still facing her, but that didn't seem like something to complain about. Her head found the niche just below his chin and Delaney found herself confronted by the rock solid reassurance of the Betazoid's chest. In a single, shallow exhalation, all the tension in her shoulders evaporated.

Leiddem shifted just a little to kiss her hair and smiled as for the first time in forever she was silent and was just content to lie there and be still. It had been a long time for him that he had shared a space with someone without something more intimate happening. It was not like he did not want to but he was conscious that he was tired after being up nearly a day and knowing that he needed to be up in a few hours. "I am going to turn over and try and get some sleep. Are you warm enough?"

Reality interfered far too quickly but Delaney couldn't refute it. Cuddling whilst napping was one thing; being tangled up with another person when you were trying to get restful sleep wasn't always the best idea. She missed him before she'd even had to let him go but, understanding the need, she eventually sighed and wriggled back a little to give him space. "I'm perfectly fine," she assured him, making the most of the opportunity to look at him at least.

Leiddem grinned at her and did something unexpected as he leaned over and kissed her properly. For a long moment, he contemplated just continuing kissing her but changed his mind. It was not his style and he really had brought her there to sleep and to switch off from the world for a little bit.

Slipping an arm around his neck hadn't been something Delaney had even consciously decided, it was simply a natural repercussion of Leiddem's ridiculous ability to keep catching her by surprise. It kept her in place to return his mischief though, much like the Betazoid, there very swiftly came a point where Delaney realised there was a line that was blurring and, the more they did this, the harder it was to care if they crossed it. She didn't want to stop, but she also didn't want suffocate herself with a pillow to maintain privacy if Leiddem kept tempting her. She wrinkled her nose against his and murmured, "This is not sleeping."

"Nope." He agreed with a small smile. "And I really did bring you here to sleep and turn off from it all." He quickly said shook his head at the thoughts going through his mind. "Goodnight." He quietly murmured and pulled back detangling himself from her. With a finally glance at her he rolled over and cuddled down in the blankets to get some sleep.

It wasn't going to work. Delaney had warned him as much and, without need for a dramatic flair, had been reasonably accurate about the difficulties she was going to have drifting off. It didn't matter. If she laid there for hours just watching the rise and fall of his breathing, and plotting all the ways in which she wasn't going to make an horrendous mess out of all this, she'd at least achieve some semblance of peace. Still, since the Betazoid had turned away from her and sought his own space, as much as every compulsion demanded that she seek his warmth again, Delaney eventually sighed and rolled over herself to face away from him. Wide eyed, she stared into the gloom and settled on replaying their conversation from start to finish.