New Dog, Old Tricks

Posted on Wed Oct 19th, 2022 @ 4:59am by Chief Medical Officer Maeliana Lehn & Chief Engineer Jeassaho Kea (Mirror)

Mission: Mission 16: Hysperia
Location: Personal Quarters
3796 words - 7.6 OF Standard Post Measure

Breathe

It was the same ritual observed every time her location changed and the tapestry of minds around her shifted to reveal new patterns and proclivities. That need to intentionally orient herself, to pull and tug and adjust her own defenses to accommodate the potential barrage of new threats.

You're okay, just breathe.

She was better at it than she'd used to be, faster at adapting, more proficient at screening out the clutter. If she focused on a time when she'd been very good at it, there was hope enough that psionic-trauma could be reversed in time. With patience. At the very least, she was practised enough at boxing herself in behind protection that would satisfy the mental health screening. They'd permitted her cosmetic preferences too, another hurdle that was never guaranteed when the scenery changed.

Exhale.

Sat on the edge of the bed, legs crossed, Maeliana counted out the last refrains of her meditation and forced her shoulders to relax. It had been a blessing, in a way, to arrive mid-shift, to be escorted and left in empty quarters to contemplate the dimmed interior of her new home and allow herself to be comforted by the gentle indications of familiarity without actually having to speak to anyone. A particular scent, photos on display, proof that she hadn't been forgotten in the weeks that had passed. The tentative fear always sat at the back of her mind, as much as she tried to control any intentional entertainment of abandonment. It wasn't fair when it wasn't warranted. It was just hard to leave some pain behind.

Rising slowly, she surveyed the space, content to leave her own bags untouched until there was time to negotiate storage arrangements. She never travelled with much anyway, just the clothing she'd amassed, the literature she'd collected and her art supplies, such as they were. Most of anything she'd ever owned of any sentimental value had been destroyed years ago. Running gentle fingertips over the bed covers, she moved towards the viewport and looked out. Just like always, it didn't look like she'd moved at all.

The new chief engineer strode through door and stopped dead as she felt the familiar sensation of someone being in her quarters from subtle signs that things had been moved just a enough to set her off. Was someone there to kill her having discovered who she really was or did someone have more carnal needs?

She looked around and grabbed the photo frame nearest and started to sweep the room methodical before she stopped and saw who it actually was. “I was about to smash your head in with the picture of us.” Jeassaho said finally as she took the familiar woman in and threw the photo onto the bed.

Mae rounded quickly, just as astonished. It was her fault, of course, she'd become far too proficient at tucking herself away so that she flew under telepathic radars. It wasn't particularly comforting to know that she could still occasionally fool the one person she had very little to hide from. Her pensive features broke into a soft, apologetic smile. "I thought they'd tell you I arrived."

“They might have by message. I left my PADD behind today. I’ve been running in circles all days trying to get the Prophet working to my standard.” Jeassaho said slowly approaching coming around the bed towards the window. “Safe to approach now?”

With a final deep inhalation through her nose, Mae nodded and reached out her hand. "I'm okay." The deep levels of understanding, the empathy, the knowledge of what a change in location cost her, was not something the Betazoid had ever anticipated finding in another but she counted her blessings. In time, things would settle and it would be business as usual. For the time being, the only familiar assurance was the woman in front of her. "I don't report for duty until the morning, they've scheduled my evaluations for this evening." A medical, the psyche eval... They weren't as daunting as they'd once been.

“Well that is a relief though you do look thoughtful.” Jeassaho grinned and quickly tugged the engineering uniform off so she was at least semi clean in a tee and shorts. As soon as she was close enough, her arms slid around the blonde’s waist, and she leaned in for a languid kiss. “So we have time to relax.”

It was all it took, the reassurance of a strong and stable influence, coupled with the familiarity and warmth of an intimacy that had cut through her defenses. Maeliana, having held her breath at the initial touch like a giddy schoolgirl, eventually returned the kiss and then brought her forehead to rest against the other woman's. "Are you okay?," she returned the concern. "How is it here?" Beneath the surface, tucked away in the space that was only for the two of them, another sentiment resonated. I missed you.

“Well, I am better here than being the Gul’s play toy.” Jeassaho had been nothing more than a political toy from when she had been rescued from the surface of Betazed for whoever had been in charge. Treated as a guest but constantly watched and guarded. “But their engineering standards are so much lower than Terran Empire specifications. I have a lot to do.” Jeassaho said aloud but her mental voice wrapped around the woman and declared the same back. It had been weeks since she’d seen a friendly face who just knew her.

"As long as they're treating you okay." It would never cease to be a source of frustration, the outrage and sense of justice on behalf of another that Mae struggled to apply in equal measure to herself. When confronted with her own track record, the Betazoid tended more towards an apologetic embarrassment, as if being held against her will and forced to breed had been an avoidable shame she'd just been too weak to dodge. Jeassaho's situation did not prompt a similar sense of defeat. A hand reached up to brush a frazzled lock of hair from the woman's eyes. "And I doubt you're too disappointed at having an engineering mess to unravel," Mae teased, her smile finally reaching her eyes.

“Prisoner there, prisoner here.” It really made no different to her, it was just less of a gilded cage on the Prophet which allowed her to do things with her life instead of just existing as a prize. Jeassaho close her eyes at the gentle touch as her hair was attempted to be tamed. “I am loving having a mess to unravel.” There was a subtle change in her eyes that hinted she was less bored and less inclined to the emotions that boredom created.

"I'm glad they've given you something worthwhile to do," came the quiet response as Mae looped her arms around her girlfriend's waist and settled her chin on Jeassaho's shoulder. She was less confident that her place on board was going to be as clear-cut. Doctors were valuable commodities in their own right, so it wasn't that she'd be without work, but Mae suffered no delusion that her transfer had been made only to plug a noticeable gap. Her primary function was as a control mechanism for Jeassaho, a realisation that had once almost prompted her to sever the relationship entirely. It had taken the patience of the other Betazoid, and the irrefutable logic that emotions didn't work that way, for Mae to realise that separation wouldn't have achieved much other than their own heartache. Still, she loathed being treated like a carrot on a stick. "Have you eaten?" Far better to focus on what she could influence, which started with her beloved's tendency to over-work and not look after herself properly.

The flicker of annoyance sparked something in Jeassaho but then she remembered it was likely the bitterness that came with the reminder that Jeassaho was not a free woman despite how things looked and that anyone in her circle was there to control her. “Eaten in the last day or twelve hours?” Jeassaho wondered innocently as she stared out the window taking in the almost familiar view of mismatched ships and stations that were now the base for the rebellion. It was a novelty that had worn off years ago.

The pointed look Mae gave that response was full of affection. It was taking time to dig beneath the layers that allowed Jeassaho to function, to navigate the habits that had become a necessary part of survival, and, more importantly, to avoid interference that wasn't wanted. The two of them were savagely independent in their own ways, making a relationship work was a constant feat of compromise and communication. "Is there anything for me to cook?," became her gentle way of asking if the other woman had taken the time to stock the kitchenette.

“Nowhere to cook,” Jeassaho replied with a small smile. The ship was more a warship than anything else she had been on even the Fenrir. “Have to eat anything not replicated in the mess with everyone else.” The woman was actually fonder of that as it meant people could not isolate as much.

It had been wishful thinking, a vague hope that there'd be more scope for keeping to herself. Mae tried to socialise because it was important to Jeassaho but it was hardly a secret that, if left up to her own devices, the doctor would either have worked a double shift or confined herself to quarters. People were hard. "I can replicate us something," she asked hopefully, "I didn't eat on the way over either."

"You replicate, I will shower and clean off the... the..." The engineer paused looking at the grime on her arms and shrugged. "Whatever this is off." She declared knowing the replicator would do an alright meal to allow them both some rest after a long day and Mae had to go for her medical. No matter the military they had the same structure to joining and leaving vessels, it was entertaining to the woman that they tried to be so different but things were so similar.

The pensive blonde didn't even try to hide her relief. "Deal."

Getting a feel for the tiny area that would have to suffice for food preparation took all of several seconds. Maeliana would miss cooking, she had a tendency to revert to useful, productive tasks when the threat of becoming overwhelmed became too potent. Taking care of people was a natural instinct and it didn't feel quite the same to stand at a machine, punching a few buttons. Thankfully, breakfast-for-dinner was relatively difficult to get wrong and uttaberry pancakes could fill a room with comfort even if they appeared out of thin air. Settling on a tea blend took longer, though she had eased herself into a seat at the small multi-purpose table with her hands cupped around a familiar peppermint-chamomile by the time Jeassaho emerged. Both plates of pancakes remained untouched.

The engineer appeared with a towel wrapped around her body and her wet hair pulled up into a ponytail already and looked so much cleaner than she had ten minutes before. "Sonic and water by the way." She called before she strode into the living room and grinned at the pancakes. "Mmmm... the best." She approved as she bent over the chair and kissed her girlfriend's hair.

"That's something at least." Sonic showers set Mae's teeth on edge, though she'd learned to grimace and bear it. With the emergence of the other telepath, the blonde pulled her plate towards her and examined the contents. As much as she chastised others, if left to her own devices, Mae tended to pick at her food like a bird. Taking up a fork, she jabbed it into a pancake and made a show of dragging it through the berry coulis. "Have they told you much about their current objectives?" Mae, as always, had been told nothing. It wasn't that she was mistreated, there were even individuals they'd served with thus far that the Betazoid could single out as having been relatively kind to her. But Command viewed her as a commodity, a useful resource with a personal advantage to be exploited. Telling her too much never seemed to occur to them.

"Resource run is the best I got. Gather resources so they can fight back. They need certain minerals to make more ships." It was a simple objective but a huge one in the war effort against the empire. There was not much of anything where they were so anything they found big or small was needed. Jeassaho slid into the chair at the simple table and tucked into the food happy to have something to eat that was familiar and with minimal effort.

Taking time over mouthfuls was another viable tactic for appearing to eat more than she actually was. Mae chewed slowly and eventually just nodded. In the entire time since she'd asked to be placed into active service, there had never been a clear-cut way of figuring out when her job was going to get really hectic. Combat seemed more or less a decent prospect of anything they attempted to do. "Has it been peaceful so far?"

"Very. I do not believe the empire even know we are here but also the Cardassians do not look after things very well so we need a lot of TLC before we go anywhere of any worth." Jeassaho was sure that the vessel was all they had but the propaganda would never allow them to admit it. She was pretty sure everything they had left was going into this vessel.

"Let's hope it stays that way." It was unlikely, and Mae was shrewd enough to realise that, but life had become about living between the conflict and making the most of what you could achieve before the galaxy turned upside down again.

Jeassaho said nothing she knew the woman and the thoughts that flowed just under he surface that they would not utter aloud. They might be in their quarters but who knew what else was in the room in regards to surveillance to keep her in check. “Yes. Now eat.” The woman instructed with a grin as she sat there in the towel and tucked into the pancakes.

A flicker of playful defiance, the embers of a fighting spirit so many seemed to assume the gentle Betazoid didn't possess, saw Mae make direct eye contact as she slid the tiny, saturated morsel from her fork with her teeth. As with all recipes from an earlier time, nostalgia added an element of bittersweet to the already-saccharine-laden meal but it had been a long while now since Mae had actively struggled to stomach culinary memories. Life went on. Not for everyone, though, so lamenting your good fortune seemed, at the very least, disrespectful. On a good day, it was easier to remember that.

"What are our recreation options?," she teased, drawing out the time it took to gather a second mouthful. "Are there even any?" The question was more a matter of what Mae needed to prepare herself for, particularly if there were group activities that had piqued her girlfriend's interest.

“Crew bar? I have only punched one Cardassian who got handsy. It has kept everyone else away. I do not need anyone going there.” There was not much in regards to recreation. “Maybe you could become the ship morale officer as well as medical officer. You could make friends whilst I don’t.” Jeassaho offered with a smirk. Jeassaho was fed up of politics.

The doctor's brow furrowed slightly, though it was less a sign of personal insecurity and more the ongoing frustration of the constant liberties people of a certain persuasion insisted on taking. She fended off enough of her own and she had no where near the appeal of Jeassaho's status. "Well if that's the way they intend to conduct themselves, I'm not sure they'd like my methods for improving their mood." As much as it was meant in jest, there was a darker side to Mae's trauma-recovery that allowed a certain bitterness to creep into her humour. She didn't elaborate, because you could never tell which if your walls was listening, but she had an idea or two about how to subdue a Cardassian that involved nothing more than a hypospray.

“That’s my girl.” Jeassaho commented proudly as she thought of the men and women who full at her feet. “ I am sure no one would even consider attempting something like that when our relationship is known. If you want that known outside if these walls.” Jeassaho knew her status was projected but that did not mean she was pulling anyone in with her.

"Don't you think the fact that we're within the walls together in the first place is going to tip them off?" Maeliana offered a soft huff of tired laughter. Early on, she had been terrified of the repercussions of falling in love with a living trophy, had even gone as far as to try and avoid it without much success. More than any other survivor she'd met, Jeassaho had a way of carving through her telepathic defenses without actually intruding, far too astute at reading behaviour to be fooled by a lonely, scared woman's attempts to deny the blatantly obvious. These days, their relationship was part of the reason they were able to remain together and, as much as Mae loathed being used as a control mechanism, at least they weren't dealing with separation that neither of them would have been able to resolve. "Not to mention I'm sure Command will get the word around soon enough." Her fork worried the piece of pancake that hadn't made it to her mouth yet.

“Not necessarily. Room mates.” Jeassaho said with a shrug. She did not overly care about what others thought as she had given that up a long time ago when she had fallen for a security officer who broke her whole world with one action. “But if you are happy with that I will happily turn off the quarters who causes issues.” Engineers could easily make anything look a mechanical accident.

"I think I'm tired of secrets that aren't really secrets," Mae replied, wearily. The impulse to keep her heart shrouded by protective layers was fierce but their relationship had been discovered by enough people further up the chain of command to be considered useful information. What was the point in denying something that could be swung against them at the slightest whim? "I don't mind who knows as long as they mind their own business."

Jeassaho simply nodded in agreement and finished her meal. It was simple but it hit all the right spots for her and her tastes. She waited for the other woman to finish before she said anything else. “So this is really something big then isn’t it? Out in the open? Same quarters?” The excitement of that prospect was bubbling just under the surface of her mind.

Having managed about half the same portion, Mae set aside her fork to reach across the table, her hand seeking the other woman's. "Being with you has always been something really big to me," she reminded softly, her features gentle in their honesty. Big, and scary, and confronting at times, but also the single most significant factor in her ability to rebuild a semblance of a life. Lacing her fingers through Jeassaho's, Mae pressed the pads of their thumbs together as she nodded in concession. "But this will be a different kind of big." Blue eyes met black. "They didn't even offer me separate quarters. If it's too intrusive..."

Jeassaho pushed herself back from the table and moved around to the woman’s side of the table and knelt in front of her not taking her hand from the other woman’s. “It’s always been big to me too but this is a different big and it’s not intrusive or too much.” *You are never too much* She added mentally wrapping herself mentally around the woman wanting her to know just how much she felt for her.

Leaning forward, letting go of Jessaho's hand so that both arms settled around the other woman's shoulders, Mae rested her forehead against the brunette's and closed her eyes. All those weeks without you weren't fun, she admitted, the first major separation of their relationship having rammed home just how much she'd come to view the other telepath as an integral part of life. Caring this much came with its fair share of fear and anxiety but none of it seemed potent enough to push aside the warmth and the strength that came from having something outside of herself to focus on again.

“I missed you.” Jeassaho said aloud. It felt more intimate to ideal it aloud and name it for the universe. Jeassaho had felt the same but she had a lot more to keep her occupied. “You could have found someone else for fun… I am glad you did not.” Jeassaho teased as she ducked her head and kissed her softly.

Not ever. It was easier, mid-kiss, to transmit the sentiment as a direct thought, though the telepathy acted as an additional reassurance because it was accompanied by a rock solid certainty. Mae hadn't been looking to connect with anyone when she'd first met Jeassaho. At the time, it had seemed monumental enough to just be out and about amongst the stars again, somewhat in control of her own destiny after so long subjected to the whim of those who treated her like a commodity. There was no fun for her in flippant trysts; physical intimacy was not something she tolerated easily.

Jeassaho sent back amusement over the sentiment as she stroked the woman’s hair and kissed her softly. It was so easy to be herself with this woman of all of them. She was not scared that she was going to to be stabbed in the back here, so it allowed her the freedom she had not experienced since their planet had burned beneath her feet. “Mmm relieved.” She grinned.

It earned her the curve of a genuine smile against her lips. "I think you underestimate, young lady, the strength of your appeal." The playful admonishment given, Mae then lifted her lips to press the next sentiment against the other woman's forehead. There is no way to replace you. I guess you're stuck with me..