It Takes Two to Tango And Fall Apart

Posted on Fri May 19th, 2023 @ 11:04am by Leiddem Kea (*) & Delaney O'Callaghan

Mission: Mission 16: Hysperia
Location: Masquerade Ball
3195 words - 6.4 OF Standard Post Measure

"I wonder if these masks ever really fooled anyone."

It had taken a couple of dances but, eventually, Delaney's spirits had rallied. She was still a little quieter than might have been typical under the circumstances, normally the first to succumb to the excitement of a social event, but her soft-spoken optimism was far more indicative of their more intimate conversations and, even with all the distractions, the redhead seemed to pull it off whilst surrounded by people. Perhaps it was the sheer amount of them or perhaps, despite her scepticism, it was because each and every face was obscured just enough to lend them an air of mysterious anonymity. Nobody was really bothering them anyway and, for once, Delaney was glad for the opportunity to focus. Her mood had been all over the place and, in true Delaney style, it wouldn't take too long to reveal why. For now, she was content to move in slow circles and ponder the handiwork of those around her.

"I feel like they're a great way confuse people if they don't know you particularly well but I'd know Burnie anywhere, even with a bunch of dragon scales all over his face."

“I do not think they overly fool anyone but I think they have uses. Tradition and History, Mystery and Intrigue, Fantasy and Escapism.” He commented about the reasons people wore the masks. “I quite like wearing it. I might just only wear it at bed time.” He said cheekily trying to sound more preppy that he actually felt as he bent to kiss her forehead before spinning her away.

Though the chuckle it earned him was far less impish than usual, the affect was no longer a lingering air of frustration and discontent but more one of fatigue. In this, Delaney was still recuperating from the pace she'd set herself since they'd arrived, culminating in the emotional exhaustion of worrying about a boyfriend who kept far too much to himself. She hadn't slept right even though the pain medication for her wrist, now unbandaged, had done its best to assist. "You know your setting my expectations way too high, right?," she teased him, meeting his eyes with amusement.

“Just watch this space.” He assured feeing just as amused by the prospect of him wearing nothing but a mask. It was most likely a good thing that the room was dark to hide any blushes that might come from either of them. Leiddem did not want his words to cause anyone embarrassment, he just said what he felt to the woman he loved.

"Always do."

The response turned a little heavier than Delaney had intended, battling against the constant irritation of curiosity and concern that, so far, she'd been unsuccessful in satiating. She knew well enough, in theory, that dating someone didn't entitle her to their every waking thought and, logically, just because Leiddem had seemed suddenly preoccupied by something that seemed to bother him significantly, that didn't make it automatically the fault of some personal deficiency she had to remedy immediately. It probably wasn't about her. She hoped it wasn't her fault, in any case. Either way, it was clear by now it was something he didn't want her to know and that sat as a source of sadness more than anything else. The problem with that was she had proven absolutely woeful at shielding him from both her thought process and her emotions and though they'd only just begun to explore what that meant for them, since Leiddem seemed as astonished as she was that she was so receptive to the connection, Delaney still had zero control over what she broadcast.

So she also hoped she wasn't making him feel worse.

To hide the fact that she'd allowed her anxiousness to creep back, the redhead settled her cheek against his shoulder at an angle that did its best not to disturb her mask and tried to distract herself with finding Curtis and Kaia amongst the dancers. Once in a while, she caught a glimpse of peacock blue but it was always too far away for her to know for sure. Scrutiny of the other faces nearby pulled her back into the game of trying to figure out who was who. "Did Jeassaho managed to get the Captain to agree to come in the end?," she eventually asked.

The Betazoid nodded and his face broke into a big grin. "She did not need to. Seems he has been keeping a secret and had been planning to bring her along all this time. He arranged everything - dress, hair, makeup, mask." Leiddem was actually proud of his brother-in-law for planning something so big and grand for Jeassaho.

A flicker of wistfulness crossed Delaney's features as she lifted her head to look at him but it was quickly smothered by a smile. "I'm glad, every time I've seen her lately, she's been working." Which made the Operations worker feel mildly guilty because, whilst Delaney had done her part to cover official duty shifts, they certainly hadn't been a very pivotal focus over the past few weeks. The moments where new inventory arrived had been busy, but her security postings had been a thinly veiled excuse to daydream and mentally map out costumes.

"Yeah, which is why I think he had done it. She has been working on the workshop non stop to make sure it's finished and the communication array." Leiddem had not missed the look but there was nothing that he could think of that he knew she would like as a grand gesture. He was not even sure he was good enough for her let alone a grand gesture.

"It's going to be strange," Delaney observed, introspective for once. "It wasn't that long ago that we were freezing to death in danger of suffocation and I was fighting off spiders for the last light bulb. Now the ship looks..." She wrinkled her nose. "Like we mean business. Which of course we do," Delaney joked, eyebrows raised. "And we always have, we're just going to look very shiny while we do it now."

"Going to need sunglasses for the shine." He laughed. "But I get what you mean going to be very strange to have things in better working order and not have to fight the computer for everything. Been a long time since I have been on a ship that easy." It had to be close to five years in all honesty not even the Temperance had been that good.

"And then all the new crew," Delaney continued, unlikely to find fault with having more people to harangue. Now that the ball was due to be done and dusted, and their time on the planet was drawing to a close, she realised she probably needed to spend more time actually cultivating relationships with those she was about to be stuck in the middle of space with again. "Even if half of them seem to be Betazoid." Two counted as half right? She pulled a face at him anyway and then laughed softly.

He could see the jest but he wondered if it worried her so many telepathics on board. it worried him as it was less chance to hide from his thoughts. Hard to hide when they could hear them too. He had spent far to long by himself to worry about that type of thing. "The chef isn't telepathic if that is any help at all in lowering that score." He offered quickly not sure if it was common knowledge but it was something that should be known as it would mean she might be treated differently. "And well Jax is... Jax." He said lightly.

"It wasn't a complaint." Rallying her spirits enough for a wry look, she added, "I happen to be a considerable fan of Betazoids, even the frustrating ones." She prodded him in the chest with her index finger and then, because her best attempts to distract herself enough from her concern to at least appear normal weren't really achieving desired results, the redhead settled her cheek once again on her boyfriend's shoulder under the absolute misguided belief that if he couldn't see her face, he wouldn't fret.

"I know I am frustrating... I am just thinking a lot." He finally said quietly. It was hard to have any type of answer that was not true to her pointing out how frustrating he could be and more so the last couple of days.

"It's a good thing I love you more than I want to slap you," came the surprisingly gentle response from his shoulder. She'd been annoyed at him earlier, for being late and leaving her to deal with Curtis' persistent pessimism alone. Even though she typically accepted that he placed his sense of duty and obligation above all else and didn't struggle overly much with resentment, there had also just been a twinge of hurt that, even here, where their duties had been reduced to their very lightest, he couldn't bring himself to shift priorities. Ordinarily, those sort of thoughts wouldn't have occurred to Delaney but in the midst of insecurity about his mood, it seemed just another excuse to distance himself. It scared her.

He loved her so much that the mere thought of losing her hurt him and haunted him to the point of making it hard to sleep. It had bothered him more and more since Jax had come on board that she would see someone better than him. "I don't mind a slap... but my thoughts are... I... I do not feel good enough for you." He finally said as the silence lingered a little but longer than it should have.

Of course, the music had not stopped, but it might as well have for all Delaney felt compelled to keep swaying in time with it. Rooted firmly still, taking the first few seconds of her refusal to complete their slow circle to regather her wits, there was nothing but absolute sincerity in the crumpled confusion and incredulity that dominated her features once she took a step back to hold him at arm's length and just stare.

"Wait...what?"

It was an odd moment to earn the distinction of rendering her nearly speechless.

"I... you are beautiful... smart and I do not understand why you are with me 'cause I am really not good enough for you." He said staying exactly still where she was holding him so that he could not run away.

It was, most would attest, virtually impossible to stop Delaney in her tracks and even rarer to rob her of a decent comeback. Of all the problems she could have anticipated, of all the reasons she'd considered for why his mood had suddenly flipped, nothing had come close to this. Quite a few of them had tried to focus on the exact opposite, in fact, but she'd wrestled with those demons and tried so hard to convince herself not to assume it had anything to do with her or them. Apparently, she'd been wrong, but not in the way she might have predicted.

Eventually, after gawping at him in stunned silence for a minute, Delaney dropped her hands into her boyfriend's and turned, leading him decisively from the dancefloor towards one of the outer terraces. They weren't exactly empty but they were much quieter, certainly a degree colder, and lit up just enough to create an illusion of privacy as she dragged them into a pocket of lantern light amidst the shadows.

"Okay," she said softly, propping herself against the railing still clutching his hands. "Talk to me, I'm listening. Where has this come from?"

The man was not sure that this was going to end well when he was tugged without much argument outside. It was colder now the sun was down but the lanterns gave the impression of a fantasy world just like the rest of the world. "I... well... Jax." He finally explained aloud what had been bothering him in the last week or so. It would sound stupid to say it aloud but he did it anyway. She needed to hear it. "The man is everything I could never be and people normally prefer that."

For all Delaney's mind usually raced at breakneck speed, it didn't always slow down enough to piece logic together. She forced herself to think, to consider the fractured explanation, and to do her best to join the dots so that she could help dig him out of this rut he'd launched himself into. "I don't suppose it's helpful to point out," she eventually said, her tone gentle and warm, "that I'm not most people. And he's your family friend so I'm sure he's a great guy, but frankly he's kind of...starchy." Delaney wrinkled her nose. "Which makes him not my type. You're my type." Blue eyes held his firmly as Delaney leaned forward to ensure he didn't look away. "And I don't think I like you bad-mouthing my boyfriend like this, I happen to think he's worth a whole lot more than you're giving him credit for."

Her movements were making it impossible to look anywhere but at her. It was a typical move in security to make it impossible to look away and to focus attention. "Lan... I am not." He said sadly. "Everyone prefers him... my own mother prefers him sometimes. Perfect doctor, husband, father." He sighed looking at her. He leaned forward to lean his forehead against hers and just stared into her eyes.

"Leiddem Kea, I am not interested in your squeaky-clean, hall-monitor doctor buddy."

Her eyes dared him to contradict her again, and may have been somewhat more authoritative if Delaney hadn't been forced to nearly cross them to focus on his face that close up.

"I don't know that I actually believe anyone prefers him, and even if they do, I don't." Two slightly chilled hands risked letting go of his to settle against the sides of his neck instead. "More to the point, I'm not some unattainable pinnacle of sheer perfection living so far up on my pedestal that you somehow don't qualify to be part of my life. I love you. I am frankly staggered, which might just be what you're experiencing too, that this has been as easy as it has been but I'm also so grateful for that. I'm grateful that I don't feel like I have to be anyone other than myself around you. This past week scared me a bit," she admitted, "but I also don't generally feel like making mistakes is as terrifying as it used to be." A thumb stroked along the curve of his cheekbone. "There is nobody else who makes me feel this comfortable."

"Why I have been worrying and..." The chilled hands on his face gave him a bit of a sharp shock to make him jump as she touched his heated skin. He was hot and flustered and not at all sure what to say in response to that. "I love you... Imzadi." He whispered the word softly. He had been trying to deny it for months but there was no way he could deny that she was that one they had shared not only physical intimacy but spiritual as well and losing it had been terrifying him.

It wasn't the first time he'd said the word, though it was the first time Leiddem had used it as a direct reference. Up until the moment, Delaney had actually forgotten she'd meant to quiz him on the slip of the tongue from their jaunt with the Headless Horseman, and without the proper cultural reference to understand the significance of the term, had unwisely allowed it to slip into the ether unchecked. They had, in a round about way, discussed their emerging telepathic compatibility, mostly because Delaney continued to be fascinated by the nature of psionics and yet she'd never really attributed any part of their connection to unusual perceptiveness on her part. She'd always just assumed that it was something Leiddem could do.

And so, in typical Delaney style, she completely missed the heavy implication of the term and simply smiled, the trace of an index finger curling beneath his chin so she could steal a kiss before blithely declaring, "That sounds pretty, you better not have just called me potato-head or something."

"It means the first person that you share not only physical intimacy with but spiritual as well. You make me comfortable too." He said chasing her lips for a second before giving up. He smiled just a little that she missed how heavy his words were. "I do not want to lose you to anyone or anything because you have woken up and realised I am dork who can shoot well."

"Being a dork who can shoot well is very high on my list of necessary attributes when it comes to the love of my life," Delaney reassured him, though the whimsical look on her face as she pulled back just far enough to finally be able to see him properly suggested she was pondering his explanation with a healthier amount of consideration for its significance. "It sounds like a term that means a lot to you," she eventually observed, sliding her hand down to settle over his chest.

"It means everything." He admitted blushing just a little as he finally broke eye contact. He did not want to share that it was what Jeassaho and Reuben called each other in private or what his parents after 40 years of marriage still greeted each other with. It was important to him as it meant long-term and forever.

"Well good." The redhead dipped her head to chase his gaze. "Because so do you."

The man's face crumpled just a little and he ducked to hold her close for a moment. "Thank you." He whispered quietly into her hair.

"Back at you, dork."

It wasn't flippancy, it wasn't inability to speak from the heart or an unwillingness to delve into more serious matters. Though she was only just starting to understand how to navigate the connection between them, barely aware of her own role in it, Delaney still managed a level of intuition that gifted her a rare ability to judge what he needed from her. In almost all other social interactions, there was the capacity for misstep, for her mouth to run away with her or her brain to just not pick up on nuances, but with him, not only was she so much less likely to speak or act out of turn, what he needed from her most of the time was to just be her usual, chaotic self. Losing his composure in public wasn't something Leiddem enjoyed, so the levity of her tone was a kindness, an opportunity to break some of the tension and invite him to tease her back in return. It gave him space to recover.

She gave his waist a squeeze and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"I'll always be your potato-head."