Wounds Opened

Posted on Tue Sep 1st, 2020 @ 5:10pm by Nollel Livaam (*) & Chief Engineer Michael Burnstein

Mission: Mission 12 - Railway
Location: Deck 3 - Senior Officer Quarters
Timeline: MD 01 19:00
2917 words - 5.8 OF Standard Post Measure

The turbolift halted and the doors gave way as Nollel stepped out onto Deck 4. A cheerful grin came to her face as she rounded a corner, making her way down the winding corridor toward the familiar quarters. No one even batted an eye lid around her now compared to the first few weeks she had been onboard.

She looked down at her hands and twisted them together. She had spent the past few days accompanying Meghan around the ship as the woman was becoming odder and odder wanting to meet everyone. She had the spent hours rearranging the ever-changing duty roster, bending it to meet the will of Gregnol, and his concern over operations not having enough crew thanks to the cargo they had. She smiled as she pressed the door chime knowing he would complain about her just not coming in but it felt even after six months doing that.

99.95% sure (which was as close to certain as any decent engineer get) of who it was, Burnie went to the door. "You know you can come in any time," he said before it was even partly open. It had become a bit of game, but he understood; everything had happened so fast that even if he felt a smile form just thinking about her, he'd had enough bad luck with serious relationships in the past to hesitate about rushing into anything in his own ways too. "Even if you only need someplace to hide from our most demanding guest," he added with a teasing wink.

Nollel grinned at him and just shrugged coyly as she stepped into the room instantly letting her shoulders loosen and her body relax as she knew she was out of sight, out of mind. "Oh I know but that would be rude as it is your quarters." The woman argued the same argument that she had for months. "And yes I am very much arguing. I am really unsure why the woman is so insistent on looking around. She's been on board six months."

Burnie rubbed her shoulders, helping to dispel the remaining tension. "Maybe she's just bored, or one of those people who's super-extroverted and needs to talk to Everyone. All the Time." He widened his eyes, giving a look of mock horror. "Still, at least she's not obsessively checking the cargo. I swear Liha is going to drive me insane with that."

"Mmm-hmm I would swap with you if Liha did not look at me so... so peculiarly." She breathed a sigh of relief as he instantly knew what to do to help her. It was a miracle how one simple action could make her feel so much better. "I should be doing that to you. You look like you have been crawling through Jeffrey tubes on Deck 10 again." She grinned rubbing the dirt on his cheek with her thumb. For people who pretended they were just keeping things casual, they certainly knew the other enough to know quirks and routines.

"Guilty as charged," Burnie laughed. "Someday I'm going to organize a massive sweep to replace chip and relay on Deck 10, because that always seems to be were things break down. But it did get me away from Liha for a bit. She's usually not so bad, but the cargo is for people she has some ties to." He shook his head. It was strange to see her actually care, or show that she did. "As for looking at you peculiarly, don't worry about it. It's part Romulan paranoia - and that just takes a long while to wear down - and probably partly because I teased her about being protective toward the new medic."

"I guess that is a bonus. I have seen her haunting the cargo bays often. I did wonder why but that would make so much more sense now." The blonde admitted pulling away to smile at his appearance still. Deck 10 was nearly as bad as Deck 7 but she would let him being on teasing him over that deck. Everyone tried not to think on all the secretes that had been there. "Well, it seems I am not going anywhere so she will just have to get used to me," Nollel said with a shrug.

"Good. Because every now and then when you have a rough day I have to wonder if you might want off at the next port," he admitted, then smiled. "But now I guess I only have to worry about what to do for dinner."

Nollel frowned a little and shook her head at him leaning up pressing a kiss to his cheek imprinting the dirt from him to her. "We all have rough days. I would not just pack up and ship off like that." She promised quickly not even mentioning that she would not do that to him. "Dinner would be lovely." It was not actually why she had come to his quarters but it was sounding appealing.

"Okay, just give me a minute to wash up," he said, touching the smudge on his cheek and looking at the dirt that had come off on his fingers. "And let me know what you want."

Nollel just smiled and let him disappear off. The blonde was not sure what she fancied but seeing he was offering to let her pick something she needed to think on something they would both like. She moved to sit down on the sofa and grabbed the book she had been reading the previous evening.

After a few moments Burnie returned, smudges washed away. He sat down beside Nollel, kissed her cheek and smiled. "So, now that I'm presentable, what would you like to do for dinner?"

“I am not sure. Mess hall or takeout from the mess hall. You can choose unless you have other plans. I did turn up unannounced.” She offered him a get out if he had other things to do.

Burnie shook his head. "I was hoping you'd come by and you know it," he replied with a teasing grin. "In fact, I was a little worried that you'd already been and gone already since I got ran late today from some extra repairs. Anyway, it seems like you've had to deal with people enough today, so I can run out and do pick up. Give you some time to relax in peace and quiet here."

The woman blushed at his teasing grin and shrugged. She knew it but did not change the intrusion if it was unwanted that evening. They did always spend every evening together. "I am sure you would have tracked me down eventually." She teased back. "That is fine with me. I will enjoy the silence and not listening to Cami and Liddem bickering outside my door."

"Yes, I would have come looking," he assured her. "Maybe tomorrow I will, and work on adding some sound-proofing for you. But for now, dinner. The usual?" he asked, getting up to fetch it.

"Please." The woman agreed and watched him leave with a smile on her face as she realised that this was silly that they knew each other yet still tried to keep things on the low. Was there a reason or did they both just not want to admit it all? They had started off in an interesting way.

Before long Burnie returned with the two take-out dinners he had meant to have had ready for when she came by. If he hadn't gotten caught up in technical issues. Again. It was a small miracle that Nollel was still stopping by - his tendency to get absorbed in work had cost him more than few past relationships (that and some geeky eccentricities). And the few it hadn't... bad luck didn't begin to cover it. He really liked Nollel, but it was hard not to feel cautious.

Putting those thoughts aside, he came through the door holding up the stacked trays. "Dinner's here," he announced cheerfully.

The quietness struck the woman and she found herself enjoying just not having to hear everyone around her. It could have been no one being in the quarters around his but it was pleasant. Nollel grinned and stood up putting the book she had been leaving their back down with the page marked. "Coffee table or are we going to be civilised?" She wondered knowing that she would happily slum it on the floor but depended on him it was his house.

Burnie paused, trying to decide if the wording indicated that she wanted to eat a table, but he'd never been good at parsing that sort of thing and dinner was cooling. "I can do civilized if you want but the couch looks really comfortable," he admitted.

"At the coffee table it is then." The woman said rising to take the containers from him and set them up on the small table near the couch. It was not often they sat at the dining room table at the end of the day but she was happy to follow him as it was his quarters. It was nice to just relax and not have to put on a show or be the public face of the ship as Gregnol had her doing now along with making sure everyone was paid correctly. She sat down and opened the lid grinning at the chicken and noodles that greeted her, for someone who had never been anywhere near earth ever it was fast becoming her favourite meal.

"I'll try to get the table set for next time," he said, but nearly flopped onto the couch beside her. It had been one of those days that involved a lot of climbing and bracing at odd angles to work, so it felt really good to just relax. He'd gone with comfort food too - New York style pizza pepperoni, mushrooms, and extra cheese. "you know, if you have any favorite dishes from back home, we could probably program them into the replicator."

“I do not mind sitting here. It is with you and the stillness of the end of another day.” She shrugged at how silly she sounded. “I do not really have any favourites. Stratos City is very multicultural and the last 100 years since it became a tourism trap a lot other cultures dishes have become our speciality.”

'Sounds like where I'm from." Burnie smiled. "New York City was a tourist and immigrant hub even back before earth's First Contact. Now there's hardly a culture you won't find represented there, and a lot of that representation is in local diners."

"I like to think there are many places like that now with all the species welcomed into the Federation." The woman said hopefully as she used the fork to gather some of the noodles to actually eat. It was hard to mess up this meal and she had yet to have anything bad for a civilian vessel the food was good.

"Probably most major cities in the core worlds now," Burnie agreed. "Though a bit more limited on Vulcan since they're almost all vegetarian," he added, peeling off a piece of pepperoni and popping it in his mouth.

"True." Nollel had never been to any of the core worlds so she would have to take his word for it there but it seemed to be a norm where a large variety of federations species lived. The meal was continued in silence for a few moments before Nollel looked at the man. "This is nice." She admitted.

"It is," Burnie agreed, setting aside his empty plate. He draped an arm around her and kissed her. "And even nicer knowing it will only get better."

Nollel grinned at the way he moved closer and the easy kiss he started. It made her lean closer to him before she raised an eyebrow at his quip. “Will it now?” She wondered putting he bowl down to discard of later on.

He grinned, leaning in to kiss her again. "I certainly hope so."

"Well this is nice and it is lovely after a long day but..." She faltered. There was so much to say, for both of them. Right now Nollel wanted to insist that he open up, that they talk but his lips on her own were distracting.

Burnie's mind was not at all on talking, but he sensed a hesitancy from Nollel and pulled back a little. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah and no." She admitted brushing her thumb against his cheek. He noticed every time something was not quite right despite herself trying to hide it. She felt her heart skip a beat at the way he looked at her. "Talented, sweet, one hell of an engineer and able to do voodoo with knowing me, it's just not fair." She teased a little.

"Not fair?" He shook his head. "Smart, talented, drop-dead beautiful woman who's also amazingly brave," he grinned fondly at her, "If I play fair, you might figure out you could do a lot better."

She blushed at his words, amazed that anyone would see her like that after everything he knew about her. "Not fair because you have gotten under my skin and it scares me. You are the first to have done that." She admitted seeing the grin on his face. It was adorable and he fact he was staring at her like that just made it better.

That he understood. "Hey," he brushed a strand of hair back from her face, "It sometimes scares me too. ...Maybe more because you're the first in since I lost the last person who made me feel this way," he admitted.

"Want to talk about that?" She offered looking up at his gentle touch on her face as he moved her ever flyaway hair behind her ear.

"It's ....difficult." He glanced down, curling his lips in. "Not just for the reasons you might imagine. The project we were on, everything that went wrong... it's all classified. I can't talk about it."

Nollel pursed her lips before finally nodding. It made sense as she knew that some of his former work was very secrete. "I understand," She assured quickly not wanting him to try and explain or have to try and find excused. She valued that truth.

"Thank you," he said and hugged her, maybe a bit tighter than usual. "Not everyone is so understanding."

"We need to be honest and understanding comes with that," Nollel assured softly stroking his cheek for a moment. Somethings they could never know about each other but there were reasons outside of their control. She rose from the couch to look out the porthole leaning her heated cheek against it watching the stars passing them.

Burnie sat on the couch a moment, not sure how interpret that. Understanding, but followed by distance... Was she unhappy he hadn't told her that piece of his past before, or did it mean that what he couldn't discuss would always leave a distance - a gap in honesty and therefore understanding - between them? He bent over putting his face in his hands. Was this going to be the course of every relationship from now on?

"I wish I could tell you more," he said finally. "I guess there's one thing I can, and should. There was ...damage... the reason I was discharged. I was in ...something like a coma... and when I came out so much of my memory, my ability to even ...find words... was scrambled." He dropped his hands, looking into the empty space in his palms. "The only thing that's really clear is how much it hurt when they explained she was gone."

Nollel turned and looked at him trying to understand him better. She had needed a moment to think on her approach and organise her thoughts so it would reassure them both.

“Michael...I really did not need an explanation but thank you for sharing. I am sorry that happened to you, I can imagine someone being gone has left a void that hurts.” She murmured wishing she had not brought up her thoughts. She just wanted to know where they were heading.

...and that had been the wrong thing to say too. Burnie mentally smacked himself in the head. What had he been thinking? Who wanted to hear about a current lover's past lost love? "Sorry." He ducked his head. "I guess I really ruined the evening."

Nollel frowned. It was not exactly ruined but it was over for the night she decided. They both needed some space, she was kicking herself for bringing it all up but she needed to. "No, but I am going to go to my own bed. Give us some space." She admitted sitting by him as she started to gather up the plates and silverware.

"I understand." Or at least he'd been told someone needed space before. It felt like a punch in the gut, but talking certainly hadn't been a good idea, so he focused on doing. Taking plates and silverware, he piling them on the tray and got up. "Go on. I'll take care of this," he said, and headed to toss them in the recycler.

Nollel wanted to argue that she was capable but the man had already taken the plate and was tossing it away. She nodded at his retreating back grabbing up her shoes heading the opposite way out. They could talk in the morning when they had nursed some wounds that had been opened.